Elope – perfect wedding for an introvert?

In 2023 we eloped in Bali. It was an amazing way to celebrate our love in an intimate setting and I don't regret making this choice.

I recall attending some of my friends weddings. Of course, there are many traditions and to dos to take into account. Think of rushing to the hairdresser, make-up artist, ceremonies, endless photo shoots, welcoming guests, dinner, cake, dancing, schmoozing, and the list goes on. I found it all exhausting for the couples. On top of that, all the expectations of how one's wedding should look like all the way to the tiniest details set by relatives. Ultimately, ending up putting aside ones own needs to satisfy all others wishes. Disclaimer: I don't believe all weddings are like this and all couples lose themselves in the planning, it is just that many of the weddings I attended had elements of what I described earlier and perhaps took a bit away from them to have the very best day of their lives.

Experiencing some of these weddings, I was quite certain that such a big event would not be the one for me. As an introvert, I never enjoyed being in the center of attention. I don't enjoy having to chatter with random relatives, who I may have not seen or talked to for years. I also don't enjoy having to invite these people because they are your relatives and someone would feel hurt when you didn't invite them. I truly hate having to stand for hours until the last person takes a photo with me.

I appreciate getting married is a really happy moment that many wants to share with the ones close to them and that for many it wouldn't feel like a burden. For me, it definitely would have. I have a very small close family, and my husband has even less. We also have a small circle of friends, so it would have been a small wedding anyhow. But then you still have to pay for the venue, for the catering, for the services to wed you, so even when it is small, it becomes a big event with a big budget after all. We didn't want that.

It was great that both of us felt this way, and it made total sense to us to elope instead of having a wedding party. I've always dreamt of traveling to Bali, and it couldn't have been a more special arrangement than to have our honeymoon coupled with our marriage ceremony during the trip.

Our wedding day in Bali

The wedding day was after about a week of arrival. We had enough time to accommodate, to explore a bit of the island and get familiar with the local ways. Afterwards we had another week to enjoy the married life and explore Bali further.

On the wedding day, I could sleep in, have my morning coffee in bed, have a decent breakfast. Then we went to the beach, chilled there for a little while, had some bites, and around 1 pm I had a make up artists and hairdresser come to my hotel room to get me ready for ceremony.

After we were ready, the photographers and driver came, we took some photos and brought us to the location of the marriage. It was a golfing resort and we were taken to a semi-private beach hidden in a small bay. Nearby there was really no-one, only further away some surfers and swimmers. We also had two Indonesian guards keeping people away so we had as much privacy as possible. White sand beach, light breeze, the sound of the waves, lovely decoration, it was really beautifully set up and it felt amazing to be there. We took some photos before the ceremony started. It was just a special and intimate moment for us, for our relationship and it was just ours. Two Indonesian ladies were throwing rose petals as we walked away from the alter as newly weds. We ended up taking a lot more photos, and at a certain point I got tired of it. That was the only moment during the day, when I felt slightly overwhelmed. I wanted to enjoy the moment and not to look left and down and then walk towards the ocean ,only to then do it all over again.

After the photos were finally complete, we went to the cliff where everything was set up for a nice dinner. It was around the time for sunset. When starting dinner, we saw the endless ocean below us, under the cliff and the sun slowly set while dining. Afterwards, we enjoyed the breeze and the sound of the waves crashing into the sides of the cliff. After dinner, it was time to go back to the hotel. We didn't have a party, just drank some champagne and enjoyed the end of a very special day for us and our relationship.

The next day, we slept in, spent the day on the beach, drinking some cocktails, having some nice food at the resort and just embracing the first day of our lives as newly weds. To me this setting and this arrangement was just perfect. I didn't have to deal with all the pleasantries and putting my guests experience ahead of mine. Instead, it was just what we wished to have, on our terms, based on our introverted needs and wishes. Once back home, we made a photo album that we could show to our friends and relatives and by that sharing the experience of the intimate wedding we had.

What would your dream introverted wedding look like, or how was it?