Holiday season as an introvert

As absurd as it sounds, I consider myself a lucky introvert, because our close family is rather small. We have never been the family that organised huge holidays gatherings, big feasts, weekend programs or family trips. We have in fact always kept things really small, with only the closest relatives, in a rather intimate setting. I guess, I have to realise: most of my family members are introverts...

I recall these intimate and pleasant Christmas dinners, with our traditional family menu, gathering around the Christmas tree, unboxing presents, having some nice conversations, and eventually going home. It never felt overwhelming. Perhaps some of you have similar experience, or on contrary, you have big and loud families with lots of events and find yourself wanting nothing more than to hide at the attic for a couple of days after the Christmas days are finally over, just like Kevin in Home Alone...

As I've grown into an adult, I gradually started to establish my own traditions and a setting for the holidays that fits me and my family. Here are some tricks that I do to keep the holidays a peaceful, recharging and intimate experience as an introvert.

Get in the festive mood

In my family, the holiday period starts four weeks before Christmas. We make (well, nowadays rather buy...) the Advent wreath with four candles to light each on the four Sundays before Christmas. The first Sunday is also the time that I would do a deep cleaning of the house, start decorating (except for the Christmas tree) and slowly create the holidays vibe.

I cherish this time, because it gives me the space to do creative things, while also just settle in and take some alone time while concentrating on something that ultimately slows me down and makes me excited about the upcoming period. There's no rush, there's no expectations, just taking the time to enjoy this period leading up to Christmas.

As a person, always feeling an urge to make plans, I start preparing the menu plans and sourcing the special ingredients. I love to cook, so this is another activity that gives me some space and fuels my need to oversee things, get creative and explore the balance between traditions and experimenting with new things.

Traditions

Traditions are dear to me. For all that I remember my grandmother was always making a special holiday menu of my great-grandmother and after my grandparents passed away, my mom continued making the same Christmas dinner. Nowadays, I would cook it myself every other year. We are trying to rotate that one year we visit my mom for the holidays, and the other year she is visiting us. But the menu on the 25th December is always the same. I like however to experiment with different options for the 24th of December. As a Hungarian tradition, we eat fish. I always buy different type and cook it in a different way.

In my childhood we put up the Christmas tree on the 24th of December. I actually like to have the tree a little longer, so in our house, we tend to put it up a little earlier than that. But no real schedule yet in that respect.

As an introvert, I guess it gives a sense of consistency and plan-ability to stick to the traditions, because you know what to expect and how things will pan out. By keeping the traditions, it is also a reminiscence of the past holidays, that we got to spend with a larger family. Unfortunately they are no longer with us or ties broke over the years. At the same time, I don't want to be rigid and because I have the time, I like to try new things and take the time to cook, bake, play board games and just go with the flow.

Family time

The holidays season is all about family. For an introvert like me, this can be overwhelming, when it's a lot of family all at once. For me it works very well to keep the celebrations to the closest relatives and the following days visit the larger family to spend some (preferably not too much) time with them.

Of course, it is not only my family to keep in mind but the partner's as well. Finding balance with who to visit when while also keeping in mind our introverted needs is key to enjoy this period.

Because my family is small and my partner's even smaller, for us it is quite rewarding and recharging period of the year.

Take days off

I always take some days off for the holidays. It is also to visit the family, when it is our turn, but also to just take a good rest after a usually busy and demanding year behind me. This is a perfect time for an introvert, because during this time, most people are taking leave and spending time with their family, so you are not expected to show up to big parties (except for New Year's), friend gatherings, or busy places, and you barely get any work emails. Therefore, I encourage you, my fellow introverts, to enjoy this time, because it gives you the space and quiet time you may so desperately need.

I like to keep it slow, enjoy the time spent at home, go for big walks, grab a coffee in the city centre, even do some day trips. This is just the perfect time for an introvert zone out.

With all the traditions, some expectations and desires, it is good to keep in the back of our minds what really is important for us. Taking the space and respecting our introverted needs in this period just as during any other. I hope you will have a lovely holiday and get to set a good balance for this time of the year.