Winter blues: introverted isolation during the cold season

I moved to the Netherlands 6 years ago. It was not such a big change in terms of geography, seasons, environment or length of the day, and yet, I find the winter months more and more difficult to cope with.

Compared to Hungary, the winter days are somewhat shorter and darker. It is a lot more gloomy with barely no sunshine from November until March. You constantly see cloudy skies and drizzle or rain during the most days. I find it depressing and draining to the point that I prefer being a hermit locked up in my home.

Period leading up the holidays

In the period leading up to Christmas, I'm quite excited. Even though the hours of daylight are getting less, I am full of anticipation for the winter break. I always take time off for Christmas and New Years, and this period is all about family, chilling, good food and even more good food, slowing down and reflecting. There's no pressure (self-imposed or otherwise) to perform, to get things done, we just take it day by day. It is certainly not my usual mode of operation, and it feels very good to allow myself some rest and free myself from all the responsibilities. Spending time with loved ones feels recharging, as we cook together, play bord games or go out to a Christmas market. All this leading up to a New Year's Eve with big parties and a lot of fireworks here in the Netherlands. I can handle both for one special night 😊

Tip 1: Enjoy the break

No matter how big or small ones family is, blood related or chosen, cherishing the time spent with them can be recharging and rewarding. Honoring the family traditions, leaning in to the celebratory mood, giving ourselves permission to slow down, embrace things as they are can be truly energizing. Even for an introvert.

Winter blues: energy and drive decreasing

After the holiday period, it is becoming more and more of a challenge to me to force myself out of the house. It is most certainly more difficult to take my dog for a walk on a rainy day seventh day in a row. I also truly hate to go to work while it is still dark in the morning, and leave the office when it is already dark.

But this is not quite what I mean when I refer to facing a challenge. To me having social interactions, going out for a lunch or coffee, plan activities with friends and family is becoming a challenge. I am becoming a hermit, hiding in the comfort of my home and waiting for the winter to be over to get out there and do stuff again. I feel like my energy level is barely sufficient to maintain minimum functioning and I don't look forward to doing much other than that.

Tip 2: Plan stuff regardless

On the other hand, if I do go out and have a nice chat and coffee with a friend or a romantic dinner with my husband, I am enjoying it and it feels good to be out of the house, dress up nicely, and experience things. I came to realize that I have to push myself a little and come up with some plans, maybe not as many as during the summer months, but surely a few, so I don't get to the point of isolation. The worst thing about isolation is that the deeper it gets, the harder it is to break. So don't let yourself reach that point. It doesn't have to be a full day of a social program, can very well be a movie night with a friend, what matters is that you get some impulses that may take some of your energy but ultimately charge you up more.

Time for reflection

Winter is the period for the nature to slow down and take some rest. It makes sense that us, introverts who otherwise have the tendency to take things slow and inward, get impacted by the seasonal changes. Honoring our natural cycles and our need for becoming a hermit is absolutely OK. In fact, this is a great time to appreciate how far we've come and look at what we aim for the future. Those dark afternoons and evenings are just the perfect time to grab our journals, or sketch boards and delve into our deep thoughts and let them emerge.

Tip 3: Cease the moment

A sunny and dry winter day is a rarity in the Netherlands. So when it happens, I do my best to enjoy it. If it is only an extended lunch walk around the office, or if I'm lucky in nature, or just sitting outside in my garden for a while, I take as much as I can. These are little boosts that help me carry on in this period. I do the same with random invites, e.g. grabbing a drink after work with colleagues. I allow myself to leave early if I feel like I'm done for the day. I might have a spontaneous idea to grab a coffee and read a book at a café while running some errands in the city.

If it feels like a good time to do something, just do it. What matters is that it feels right and it is in line with your needs.

As introverts we may be prone more to closing in when our energy level is lowering and ending up as hermits during the winter season. While that may be perfectly fine, it may be worthwhile to try to balance our needs to cozy up at home and get out there to do stuff that otherwise we enjoy doing during the warmer months.

What is it that you do during the winter hermit months to recharge?